sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize