Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
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at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
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Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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