maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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