1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
