I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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