OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
