Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
