You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
