Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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