You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
