Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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