I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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