Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize