When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
