Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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