forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
