Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
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the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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