'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
two words...techno handjob
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
This toilet bowl is my home.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
