Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
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I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
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I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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