if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
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I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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