the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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