she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Green mimosas i think yes
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
