At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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