i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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