bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
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What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
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Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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