Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
