The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize