At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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