the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Drunk is not a location!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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