a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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