I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
are you so shy because you have an std?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Randomize
