Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
