Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
