If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
as a side note pls kill me
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
