You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
