i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
did i just pee glitter
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
