I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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