i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
