I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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