I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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