What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
