You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
