And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize