I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize
