I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
