i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
