Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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