Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
