Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Please don't give away my fajitas
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
