I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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