yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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