am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
