He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
