No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
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I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
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We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize