if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
