Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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