I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I smell like Dick and happiness
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize